


warm

by shobiocore



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Past Child Abuse, Protective Sokka (Avatar), they're in love, zuko tells sokka about his scar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:53:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25621681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shobiocore/pseuds/shobiocore
Summary: “you will learn to behave. you will never disrespect me or my nation ever again, child,” ozai said, holding zuko’s hair in one hand and slowly raising the other to cup his face.(it’s too real. i can’t do this, i can’t, not again.)and, strangely enough, the hit never came.instead of fire in his face, zuko felt someone shaking his shoulders, distantly calling his name.(or, sokka learns about zuko's scar.)
Relationships: Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 425





	warm

**Author's Note:**

> hi! this is my first fic for the atla fandom and just my first one in a While so i hope there aren't any mistakes! i couldn't stop thinking about zuko opening up to sokka about his past to here it is. mentions of ozai being a general asshole so that's the "past child abuse" tag! i hope you enjoy ♡

zuko felt warm.

it took him a second to understand that it wasn’t a comfortable, happy type of warm. it wasn’t like sokka’s hug, which felt like coming back home after a long day. it wasn’t like his uncle’s tea, that made him feel at peace and content. 

it was a warm that burned through his skin, that made him yell in pain. the realisation was so sudden that he felt a scream ripping through his throat, startling even himself. he looked up, seeing his father’s face full of rage and disappointment. 

he knew it wasn’t real, it couldn’t be. the war was over, thanks to the avatar, and his father was no longer able to hurt him or anyone he cared about. still, that didn’t stop this from feeling _way too real_ , it didn’t stop the apologies at the tip of his tongue from falling all over the place, a jumbled mess full of broken pleas. 

he could feel the shame creeping up on him. _you’re useless_ , he thought (in a voice that strangely enough sounded like a was a mix of ozai’s and azula’s), _can’t even fight. can’t even defend yourself. get up._

( _i’m sorry, i’m so sorry, i’ll be good next time, please don’t hurt me again._ )

he looked around the room, seeing his uncle pained expression. seeing azula’s smile. seeing everything perfectly clear for what felt like the last time, before ozai’s hand cupped his face, bringing him back to what was about to happen. 

_no one’s gonna protect you. you have no friends, your uncle isn’t gonna stop the fire lord, no one else cares enough. it’s gonna hurt and your mom isn’t gonna be here this time around to take care of you._

“get up and fight, zuko. get up and face me like the man you think you are,” ozai said. 

“i-i’m sorry, please dad, i’m so sorry,” zuko heard himself say, pathetically.

“you will learn to behave. you will never disrespect me or my nation ever again, child,” ozai said, holding zuko’s hair in one hand and slowly raising the other to cup his face. 

_it’s too real. i can’t do this, i can’t, not again._

and, strangely enough, the hit never came.

instead of fire in his face, zuko felt someone shaking his shoulders, distantly calling his name. ozai’s figure disappeared right in front of him, as did the rest of the room, leaving him in a dark emptiness for a second before surging forward. 

he felt his hair clinging to his forehead thanks to how much he was sweating, a scream coming out of him as he registered what was happening. he wasn’t in the old, stuffy room where his agni kai had been, instead he was on his bed, safe, inside _his_ palace. the next thing he saw was sokka’s worried face saying something but zuko couldn’t hear past the ringing in his ears. he took a deep breath, like his uncle always taught him to, and closed his eyes to try and calm his mind. counting to ten, his head cleared enough to hear sokka asking if he was okay and telling him to take his time, in the most gentle voice he could muster.

“i’m fine,” zuko finally said, voice hoarse from how much he had been pleading and screaming previously. in all honesty, he wasn’t fine and both men knew that but he was _safe_ and that was all that mattered right now.

even after the war ended two years ago, zuko wasn’t able to get rid of the nightmares, wasn’t able to forget his past. it was part of the reason as to why sokka wasn’t able to sleep next to him for so long, even after their relationship had bloomed. 

they have been together for a year, after sokka spent two months in the fire nation palace helping zuko restore peace to the world, but there was still so much that he didn’t know about the fire lord. sokka never pried, of course. he knew zuko’s upbringing had been harder than most and he knew that zuko trusted him enough to tell him about it when he was ready.

however, he couldn’t help but worry. ever since he came back to the palace a couple of weeks ago, after traveling to the water tribe to see his family, he’s been sleeping with zuko and it has been… hard to say the least. not that being close to his boyfriend was hard by any means but it often ended up with sokka waking up in the middle of the night, only to find a shaking zuko next to him, screaming. 

sometimes he asked for his mother in broken whispers, saying that he needed her. others, he was promising that he would never leave his uncle again, that he regretted his old choice’s deeply. but most of the time it was always the same thing: hushed apologies and pleas, asking for someone to be merciful, to forgive him for his behavior. zuko never explained what his nightmares were about but sokka understood. 

he also has had his fair share of bad dreams since the end of the war. nightmares about his friends dying, about aang never making it in time and the world suffering, about zuko never recovering from the lighting azula shot at him. about the lightning hitting katara instead. it was hard, being so young and facing so much, all at once, but they managed. and he knew that talking about it was _hard_ , even if it was long behind them. those were things that would haunt the group forever. 

so sokka understood. that was what made zuko want to tell him even _more_. he was always so kind, so gentle, always looking out for everyone he cared for and making sure to not overstep any boundaries. zuko sometimes still couldn’t believe that he was one of the people sokka cared so deeply for. 

when he kissed the water tribe soldier for the first time, it was… incredible. he’s still amazed that he has such an amazing boyfriend. _him. zuko._ managed to date _sokka._

so he wasn’t afraid to tell him. he knew sokka would understand and, above all, be there for him. zuko took a deep breath. it felt like time was frozen, a million memories overlapping. 

_(the bad ones, from when he was thirteen and lost, banished. the good ones from getting to know his friends and being accepted into their group. the bad one from ba sing se, betraying his uncle. the good ones, from all the times he went to drink tea in the earth kingdom with the people he loved.)_

“have i ever told you how i got this scar?,” zuko asked quietly, startling sokka. he shook his head no and moved forward, rearranging them so now zuko was laying on his chest, both of them resting against the bed frame.

“you don’t have to tell me, y’know,” sokka said carefully, wanting the older boy to know that he would never force him to talk about something that was so painful.

“no, i want to,” zuko assured him, “it’s just… hard. but i have to, at some point. everyone else figured out on their own, but i want to tell you.”

it was silent for a bit after that. they were just breathing in sync, sokka letting his hands move freely on zuko’s back, silently supporting him. 

_god, i love him_ , zuko thought, so easily that it almost scared him.

“i was thirteen. i don’t… i don’t remember the details and, honestly, i think that might be for the best. but i was so young and full of hope, y’know? i wanted to prove to my dad that he could be proud of me. so i asked to go to a war meeting and somehow, through some miracle, my dad agreed. he said i needed to behave accordingly but… i couldn’t believe it. i finally had a change to prove to him that i wasn’t just _lucky to be born_ and that i wasn’t a sloppy second. looking back, i still don’t know how i was so hopeful but…”

zuko trailed off, getting this lost look on his face. sokka squeezed his shoulders, grounding him. _i’m here_ , his gestures said. zuko shook his head as if to clear it.

“you know how the fire nation was. everyone was ready to kill without hesitation and the general just… offered this crazy plan that would sacrifice so many young people in the sake of winning a battle. and i could see that my father was going to accept it. but i couldn’t just… sit there and do nothing. my mom always taught me to stand up for what i believed and i did just that. i told the general that he was crazy for this plan and thought i was doing so well, that everyone would be impressed.”

sokka didn’t like where this was going but he didn’t say anything. he knew that this wasn’t about himself, that this was about letting go of old scars and healing. he could feel his blood boiling, though.

“i was challenged in an agni kai, for disrespecting the general and interrupting a meeting where i was supposed to just be quiet. and you know what i did? i said yes, not because i didn’t have a choice, but because i thought i could take him down. i was stupid.”

“you were a kid,” sokka’s voice was shaking. he tried not to interrupt but he couldn't stand seeing zuko talking so lowly about himself. zuko gave him a small, grateful smile before continuing. 

“i didn’t really expect to lose. but in the end, i didn’t even fight. that day, it wasn’t the general standing in front of me. it was my father. i disrespected _his_ war meeting and therefore i should face the consequences of my actions. i couldn’t do it. like you said, i was a kid and i didn’t want to fight my own father. i pleaded, it was so pathetic how much i _begged_ for his forgiveness but it was no use. he came to me, saying that i needed to learn from my insolence, and… well, burned half of my face. a month later i was on a ship with a small crew and my uncle, banished and sent to search for the avatar. of course, that had been three years before aang returned so i was never expected to come back.”

there was a pause but sokka knew zuko wasn’t done yet.

“that’s… that’s what i keep dreaming about. that day. his palm burning me. i don’t want to be afraid of my past anymore. i know i’ve changed and i know he can’t hurt me anymore. but it still haunts me and i can’t make it stop.”

a sob echoed through the room and sokka was embarrassed to realize that it came from him. zuko didn’t shed a tear after telling everything and perhaps that had been the most heartbreaking part of it all. he grew up thinking that he _deserved this._ that he somehow deserved to have his face burned. it hurt so much to think about a thirteen year old zuko having nowhere to go, only an impossible mission to complete. 

“hey, buddy, look at me,” he heard zuko say, concerned. the fire lord turned to him and held his face between his hands, slowly stroking his cheeks, “it’s okay now. i promise it’s okay.”

“but it’s _not,”_ sokka practically screamed, “none of this is okay, zuko! he burned you. he actually _burned half of your face._ you were a kid and you were scared and _alone._ i can’t… i’m _so sorry.”_

zuko kissed him gently, feeling the salty tears streaming down his own face. they were both a mess at this point, but it was understandable. this was so much worse than whatever sokka could have imagined.

“i wanna kill him. i should kill him. can i kill him?,” zuko chuckled at sokka’s request.

“i’m afraid not, buddy. he doesn’t have much to live for at this point, to be fair, so you would be doing him a favor.”

they shared a wet laugh and sokka kissed him again. 

“thank you for listening to me. i know i didn’t deserve this, logically, but the nightmares are hard and i’m sorry you have to experience that but i’m grateful that you chose to stay anyways.”

“now look at you, fire lord,” sokka said teasingly, poking at his sides, “who would imagine that awkward prince zuko would grow up to be so outspoken about his feelings? i still remember seeing you rehearse conversations when we were back at the air temple.”

“you make me comfortable,” zuko’s tone was much more serious than sokka expected, but he still smiled gently, “i still practice conversations though, but it’s mostly for meetings. can’t trust myself to not mess it up.”

sokka grabbed a pillow and hid his face in it, screaming _you’re so cute_ because of how overwhelmed he was. how is he supposed to go back to sleep now?

“c’mon, i need cuddles now. opening up is exhausting, i don’t know how people do it,” zuko whined, laying down and pulling sokka with him. 

for the rest of that night, no one had nightmares. they slept peacefully holding each other as if they had no worries in the world. zuko woke up first, rising with the sun, and smiled when he felt sokka’s arm tightly wrapped around his waist. ozai could never hurt him again. 

this time, the warm was a good one. 

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments make my day! thank you for reading :D also feel free to find me on twitter, @kooszuko!


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